Wednesday, January 22, 2020

Reality of Aging

Aging. It has a bum rap. It's a matter of perspective. When you're twelve, you can't wait to be thirteen. When you're eighty-nine, ninety isn't so exciting except as a triumph of reaching the milestone still above ground.

The reality is aging is not a milestone or number. Aging is loss. Loss of mobility. Loss of freedom. Loss of friends and family. Loss of spontaneity. All of those can happen at any age. None of them are a process of choice.

My dad is eighty-nine. He's far more mobile than I am. He eats pretty much whatever he wants. If he decides to walk down to the end of the little road he lives on, then he does. If he takes a notion to go to Walmart and browse, he and my stepmother, Mary Lou do that.

I, on the other hand, have a greatly restricted choice of things to eat--most of them not necessarily what I want to eat--and walking out to the car is a big deal for me. Walmart? Pretty much like hiking the Sahara. A doctor's visit can take two or three hours to get ready for, and that's before I even leave the house. Then there's the trip, the search for parking spot, and the inevitable wait in a waiting room of folks who are coughing, sneezing, and in general breathing on me. I have immunity issues so that entire scene is scary.

Ahhh. At last my name is called. I hobble to the room so the doc and I can confer about my general health. He tells me I'm in pretty good shape for the shape I'm in. I agree. We part ways until next time and I go home...where I rest up from my marathon while I contemplate the idea of a nap.

That's the difference, you see. For me and a bunch of other folks out there, just the idea of leaving our home is a major deal. Medication schedules have to be worked out. Meal schedules have to be shifted. Travel time, shower and dressing time, parking, waiting, all have to be figured out. It's stressful. That's the reality.

I remember a time when I climbed a mountain every weekend. Alone and independent. I cherish those memories because that's in the past. Aging is about facing those memories and choosing to be happy you have them instead of bitter because they are no longer possible.

Depression is a big problem in the aging population because many can't face the loss, the pain, the sheer aggravation of having to plan every nit-picky little moment. I confess there are days I would like to just pull the covers over my head and shut the world out. But I don't, not because I'm so great, but because of all those nit-picky things I have to deal with. Medications, glucose testing, meals, blah, blah, blah.

Now I live with an electronic window on the world. Every day I am thankful for that blessing. In the past 'shut-ins' didn't have the privilege of sharing in the outside world unless someone showed up to physically visit them. Oh, I know technology can be stressful if we allow it to take over, but you know...it has an off switch. When I find it annoying, I turn it off. Boom!

I 'talk' to people who stress out over robo-calls and such. I don't answer. That's what caller ID is for. Really? Why do we think anyone has the right to annoy us just because we own a phone? It's a tool, like any other, to keep us connected when we want to be connected.

I have a lot of friends. Some I've never met in person and never will. That's okay. I enjoy visiting with them, sharing experiences and memories. Where else can you have a world-wide discussion about your favorite book? Or reach out for advice about almost any subject you can think of? And sometimes, just sometimes, reaching out to talk to someone is the most important thing you can do, especially on those days when aging becomes an overwhelming fact of life.

Know someone who is struggling? Treat them gently. Life is hard. Don't brush them off or offer them advice. Just let them know you're there. You're thinking of them. Share a good memory. Tell them they're important in your life. And please, please, please don't wait until they're dead to tell them what their friendship has meant to you. Then it's too late.

Saturday, January 4, 2020

World On Fire

https://www.news.com.au/national/victoria/bushfire-relief-how-you-can-help-those-in-need/news-story/

The New Year is traditionally the time we reassess and set goals. This year is also a year when it seems the world around us is on a collision course with time. Folks are depressed and anxious. People want to do something--anything--but aren't sure what to do. A lot of them are under the impression they can't do anything to effect change because they're poor or have too many commitments.

It's not 'how much' you do. Your intentions are what matter. Some of the most important things are monetarily free.

1. Time. Time is the single most important thing we can contribute to the world around us. Buy or make a box of greeting cards. You know the ones...they say things like "Hope you're having a great day!" or "Across the miles...". Write a short note inside and mail to someone who is alone or confined to their home. Send one every couple weeks.

2. Reach out and touch. Know someone who is having a terrible time? You may not have the money to help out, but many times, a compassionate listening ear is far more important. Call and be prepared to just listen.

3. Donate. Find a cause and donate. Five dollars a month adds up to sixty dollars by year's end. Almost all of us can afford five dollars a month. Don't have five dollars? Donate two...because that saying "every dollar counts" is completely true. Send money because the folks in charge are the ones who really know what's needed. Don't know where to donate? Food banks, homeless centers, rape support centers, hospice centers. Or mentor a couple children by paying for their school lunches. Volunteer time to watch the children of a caregiver. Most never get any downtime.

4. Get in touch with your local animal rescue and ask what they need. I know our local place has requested clean used towels, blankets, and pet food.

I bet the opportunities to contribute to the world around us are endless. We may not be able to be on the ground to fight fires or help with the aftermath of a tornado or hurricane, but there are many lesser catastrophes happening around us every day. Choose one. Help put out the emotional fires around us.

anny




Thursday, January 2, 2020

New Year Options

 
 
 
New Year's Resolutions for any year:
1. Don't kill anyone.
2. Stay out of jail.
3. Don't eat worms or crickets.
4. Get dressed at least once a week.
5. Read as many books as possible.
6. Survive.
 
I was wildly successful last year. Onward!
 
anny