Monday, July 22, 2013
For a writer, the most basic recognition is their royalty statement, followed by reviews, awards, and fan mail. When those dry up, many writers move on to other endeavors. We all want our creativity recognized.
When we receive a rejection (as I did recently), it's difficult to stay on balance. A rejection is a direct assessment of our abilities. We aren't 'good enough'. At least that's what our heart tells us. Our heart doesn't see it as a business decision on the part of the publisher. Hearts are funny that way.
Intellectually, we can self-assess and realize that savvy business decision has nothing to do with our abilities, but that really doesn't help, does it? No.
I've done a lot of soul searching. Considered a lot of options. And found the recognition wanting. It's lowering to realize I'm only a legend in my own mind. Yes, I have many readers and friends and professional colleagues who have encouraged me and cheered me on. The difficulty with an honest self-assessment is numbers seldom lie.
Truth often hurts.
I can't make a living at writing. I can't even support it as a hobby or justify the hours I spend on my butt, sitting in front of a monitor. I don't know what I will do. I have a couple pieces I need to finish. After that... well, I have other creative outlets that offer better monetary returns. We will see.
In the meantime, about those readers, friends, and colleagues--Thank You. I would never have made it this far without you!