Monday, July 22, 2013


Somewhere, deep in their darkest, most secret places, every person on earth craves recognition. Some deny the need and stuff it down so far inside they can't even acknowledge it. Others pursue career paths that feed the craving by such means as publicly performing in the arts or sports arenas.

For a writer, the most basic recognition is their royalty statement, followed by reviews, awards, and fan mail. When those dry up, many writers move on to other endeavors. We all want our creativity recognized.

When we receive a rejection (as I did recently), it's difficult to stay on balance. A rejection is a direct assessment of our abilities. We aren't 'good enough'. At least that's what our heart tells us. Our heart doesn't see it as a business decision on the part of the publisher. Hearts are funny that way.

Intellectually, we can self-assess and realize that savvy business decision has nothing to do with our abilities, but that really doesn't help, does it? No.

I've done a lot of soul searching. Considered a lot of options. And found the recognition wanting. It's lowering to realize I'm only a legend in my own mind. Yes, I have many readers and friends and professional colleagues who have encouraged me and cheered me on. The difficulty with an honest self-assessment is numbers seldom lie.

Truth often hurts.

I can't make a living at writing. I can't even support it as a hobby or justify the hours I spend on my butt, sitting in front of a monitor. I don't know what I will do. I have a couple pieces I need to finish. After that... well, I have other creative outlets that offer better monetary returns. We will see.

In the meantime, about those readers, friends, and colleagues--Thank You. I would never have made it this far without you!



  1. If you love doing it, Anny, don't stop. It would be tragic if you did.

    It's tough to stay positive in this business. There is a lot of rejection and most readers don't realize that only a handful of authors make a lot of money. The rest of us are lucky if we make a living and a lot don't even manage that.

    Still, it's an art form and an outlet for creative expression. I hope you don't give up.

  2. Oh Anny, keep your chin up. It's okay. I've been rejected literally hundreds of times. Hey, f*ck 'em if they can't take a joke.

  3. Well, you know my thoughts on this writing lark - don't take it seriously. But I also say if you enjoy it - do it. There are a lot of writers writing absolute shite and selling their souls to sell books and copy everyone else. I have always admired that you did not and never do this. As for recgnition - recognise you're a good person and a good writer and if people are blind to that fact then do you really need to care about those people? Nope.

  4. I'm with you, Anny. I've been rejected the few times I've subbed this year. And the numbers make me wonder why I'm doing this. I've considered walking away. Who knows what I'll decide, but believe me you're not alone.
    I hope you decide to continue though.

  5. Anny a rejection and royalty statements are never an honest assessment of talent or merit. Masterpieces have been rejected in their day.
    The only thing you need to ask yourself is "Was the writing fun? or "Will I be proud of my work on my deathbed?"