Friday, June 13, 2008

Got Sex?

Yesterday I read an internet article about a couple that had sex for 101 days in a row. Annie and Doug Brown chronicled their sex marathon in a book, "Just Do It" for the edification of the rest of the reading public. For more info
It seems that they agreed to have sex everyday, no matter what. Interesting. That's pretty much the way things are at my house, but I never thought to write a book about it...

At the bottom of the article, I noted a reference to another article about a woman who gave her husband an entire year of sex for his fortieth birthday. Hmmmm. Cheap gift. Wonder if the house hunk would go for it? To see how it came out--

Some of the statistics they were bandying about in the articles seemed a little...sad. So I went in search of the real lowdown on what's happening in the bedroom. Not much, it seems. According to Kinsey research,
  • 3% of married women reported they have never had sex in the past year,
  • 12% reported only a few time in the past year, 47% reported a few times in the past month, 32% reported 2-3 times a week, and 7% reported 4 or more times a week For more info

  • The item I found interesting was the finding that 19% of women think about sex everyday or several times a day, 67% a few times per month or a few times per week, and 14% less than once a month. Clearly us romance writers must be in that 19% or we would never get any writing done at all!

    But wait! There's more! According to the Durex Survey
    "People around the world would rather go out with their friends than have sex. More than a fifth (22%) choose their peers rather than having sex with a partner (19%), while a further 10% prefer to either play sport or go shopping."

    The Aussies have their own surveys going.

    More than 19,000 Aussies aged 16 to 59 years were questioned over the telephone about their sexual experiences, relationships, use of condoms and contraception, sexual satisfaction and difficulties and sexual attitudes and knowledge of sexual transmitted infections.

    Researchers from La Trobe University, The University of Sydney and the University of New South Wales reported that more than three quarters of those surveyed believed that sex before marriage was acceptable.

    Heterosexual couples who had been together for at least a year reported they had sex on average 1.84 times a week - but most wanted more. (Interestingly, while 85% of respondents said they would like sex at least twice a week, only 27% actually had sex this often).

    For more info check

    So what does it all mean? I think it means that we as erotic romance writers really, truly deal in fantasy. Not the way things are for the vast majority of the population, but the way a lot of women in particular would like things to be in their fantasies. Maybe even what they long for in reality. I don't know. Like the old saying goes, one woman's meat is another's poison.

    Personally, it's that sex once a week that I'm having trouble with. Once a week? Oh, heck no. Not even in the worst part of our marriage did we ever sink to once a week. Hmmm. I wonder if I could convince the house hunk that that was normal...?



    1. I'm made speechless by the numbers. I read a study years ago where it said men think about sex or sexual situations at least one time every fifteen minutes. I always wondered if that was true or if it was some weird study that someone manipulated.

      I wonder if it says that women like the idea of sex and the sex as it occurs in fantasy, but that what most women have in reality isn't up to the task. In my book that goes right down to communication. I've found most men want to please the woman they're with but very few women will tell the man exactly how to do that.

    2. Mind boggling statistics! Lots of people don't communicate with their partners, I think. Other issues also get in the way. These days with both spouses working and coming home to kids and their activities...hell, people are exhausted. We certainly were when the kids were young and our day didn't end until very late.

      And for those who don't "get enough", thank goodness for the vicarious thrill of an erotic novel.

    3. There is a theory that people who answer surveys/phone polls/ring in TV phone polls are the least likely people who you want to be answering questions because they do not represent the market on a whole. I think be your own percentage and don't worry where you fit in.

    4. wow, those numbers are sad... I feel bad for them. I can't imagine having sex on rare occassions or even just once a week. Why on earth would anyone want to deny themselves like that?