Monday, May 24, 2010

Burying the Hatchet

There are few things as awkward as mending a friendship when you feel you are in the wrong. One of those would be fixing something when you don't feel you're wrong.

The problem as I see it is point of view. What I might view as a relatively simple issue just might be something another individual feels very strongly about. What to do?

Humanity in general is a seething mass of individuals who all have their own personal lines in the sand. One person draws the line here. Another draws it way over there. And neither budges from their position.

There is also the matter of resilience. Some people are far more susceptible to hurt feelings and anguish than their fellows. No one is wrong. That's just the way humans work.

But because of those lines in the sand, those hurt feelings, those differing points of view, relationships sometimes have hidden booby traps, secret vulnerabilities that all parties aren't necessarily aware of. That's when one person can inadvertently hurt or anger the others.

There are possible solutions. I suppose it all depends on whether all parties are interested in burying the hatchet.



  1. I think some people, like you and I, will always be friends as we have the ability to piss each other off yet we move on, after a eye rolling moment and continue as we were. Not all friendships have that sort of foundation.

  2. There's an additional road bump in the perception of wrongs that can slow you down too. That would be the road bump of "I don't know how to handle this so I'm going to blow it out of proportion. Slow down and be scared of me now."

    Which always garners a huge "Whuh?" face from me. Okay and also a mumble of mutterful babble. I don't deal with that shit anymore. Used to. Learned a helluva lot this past year.

  3. True friends forgive and forget. I have a friend I'd cheerfully throttle from time to time, but twenty-six years of friendship and having each other's back reminds me to hang onto my patience. And when her air-headedness gets too much, I simply distance myself for a few weeks.

  4. There are certain people in my life that I will always, if not despise, look at with dislike. My two favorite quotes are, "You can judge the character of the man by how he treats people who can do nothing for him or to him." The other one is, "A person who is nice to you but not nice to the waiter is not a nice person." The people I dislike are kind if it benefits them and not if if does not. I find people of that sort hard to forgive. I think it's best to give them a wide berth. But, let them know that you have your eye on them.

  5. Well said, Anny. Some friendships need more nurturing than others.