Wednesday, November 3, 2010


Have you ever done something with what seems to you to be perfectly logical reasons and had someone totally blow up because they don't see things the same way? Over the last few days, I've had a startling epiphany.

No one else, no matter how well they know us, will ever truly understand the motivations behind our actions and decisions. They might think they do. They might try to understand. But unless they've lived our life, they can't possibly completely understand. The same, of course, is true in reverse.

I'm convinced that is why some of our spouse's actions are so baffling. Not only have we not lived their life...they're also of the opposite sex which adds confusion to the mix.

Our motivations are personal, often private, and possibly even secret. When we make a decision, it may be based on experiences or expectations we won't ever feel comfortable discussing. It's even likely we will never openly acknowledge the real reasons for our actions.

So. If my actions, decisions, motivations are incomprehensible to someone else, how much more baffling is their reaction? I'm a very non-confrontational individual. I have a difficult time understanding the constant confrontational culture we live in. What happened to walking away from conflict? What happened to politely ignoring things that might embarrass our friends and loved ones rather than insisting on pointing them out?

Or am I merely walking to my own drummer, naive and unaware, because I think that the world would be a better place if we practiced polite ignorance? Perhaps so. But that's my choice.



  1. I'm non-confrontational too, unless a) I feel my back is against the wall or b) it concerns my kids. But I still try to be polite about it.

  2. I've never understood why we all can't get along. I agree with your assessment that the world is a much more confrontational place. There is a place and time to stand up, but a lot of stuff people get crazy over really doesn't matter in the scheme of life.

  3. Well said, Anny. Life is too short to be confrontational about everything. It truly isn't worth it. I try my best to walk away.