Where are we?

Traveling can be adventurous. I suppose it can even be fun. Mostly it's confusing. There's the urge to scratch your head and ask, "Where are we now?"

Hotels take on a sameness after the second night, regardless of state or brand. Two beds, not enough towels, a giant TV and an unplugged mini-fridge. Iffy wi-fi, iffier AC/heat, and hard-to-find electrical outlets. The househunk uses a C-PAP machine at night. It's always an adventure to locate the outlet so he can plug it in.

If hotels take on a sameness, then their continental breakfast are...carbon copies. Every single one has jumped on the messy waffle bandwagon. The name of the game is self-service. Put batter in cup. Pour on waffle iron and close. Flip over and wait for the buzzer. PRY out of waffle iron. Eat. High calorie, high carbohydrate, high sugar breakfast guaranteed to put a diabetic in a coma.

We ended up providing out own fruit and cheese sticks, adding a toasted English muffin and coffee and calling it good. At least I didn't fall asleep at the wheel twenty minutes after starting out.

At one hotel we were given the handicapped accessible room after we requested a room on the first floor. I must have looked like I was in truly pitiful shape. Just let me say, anyone stuck in that room has my complete sympathies. The outer room was lovely--huge with a recliner and rolling desk chair and plenty of room to move around. The bathroom...well words fail me.

When we first arrived, I peeked in, nodded, and worked on unpacking the car. Later when I had need of that particular room, I discovered my error. The grab bar was so close to the toilet I had to sit sideways on the seat. And since the seat was one of those "split" seats, my leg rested in the missing section. And pinched. Also, the bar was exactly at the height so I had to sit with my arm up in the air. Since I was naked at the time (getting ready to shower), the ice cold bar rested against my ribs and...boob.

I was already irritated and then I looked around for the toilet paper. It was about two feet away on the back wall on the other side of the friggin' bar! What lunatic installed the holder in such an inaccessible location?

I summoned the househunk. He removed the tp from the holder and for the duration of our stay, it sat on the vanity right next to the toilet where it should have been installed in the first place.

Little did I know my adventures were only beginning. Next I stepped into the shower. After setting the water temperature, I pulled the lever to move it to "shower". Snort. Big mistake. There was a jury-rigged hand held shower thingy. Some water came out there. Most of the water shot out at face lever through an open uncapped pipe. The water pressure was so minimal from both options, it was difficult to rinse the soap from my quivering goose bumped flesh.

Did I mention the water that was hot whilst pouring into the bathtub suddenly went down about twenty degrees when I moved it to shower? We crossed that hotel from our "visit here again" list. Oh, yeah. The telephone didn't work, either.

Our next hotel was not bad. Since we were staying four days, they put us in the back with the other transient population. You know, people there on temporary transfers for work and corporate clients (which only means their company is footing the bill). These folk were hard-drinkin', loud, argumentative fellows who loved to barbecue on the illicit grill they had in the parking lot. They were friendly--but loud. And since we were there over Halloween weekend...well, it was interesting.

Then we headed home. By then we were too tired to care about much except how soft the beds were. I fell face first on the bed and crashed. When the hunk woke me to discuss dinner, we decided we weren't hungry. At that point, it was all I could do to undress and crawl beneath the covers.

And the next night? We were home, sweet home. In a couple weeks we'll be on the road again on our way to new adventures via Texas and Arkansas. No telling what we'll encounter. But it ought to provide plenty of fodder for writing. Good thing, eh?

anny