Wednesday, October 10, 2007

The Secret Inner Life

You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, 'I have lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.' You must do the thing you think you cannot do... Eleanor Roosevelt

I read Kelly's blog and wanted to weep for the little girl still buried in the woman. How many other secret inner lives do we have? Strange how we can share trivial details from our lives but shrink from sharing anything of importance. Surely we aren't that shallow?

I have spent a very long time keeping my secrets. After the first paragraph of this blog I sat here in frozen paralysis. What would I say? A while back I had a stroke...a small one. I lost a few things when that happened. One of those things was the facility for quick thinking. I lost words. I lost phrases. I lost the ability to take down a verbal message. I forgot how to tie my shoes which was humiliating. I forgot how to make chili. I knew what the ingredients were, but not how to cook it.

But I gained a few things. My granddaughter taught me how to tie my shoes. My son convinced me that all meals should be one pot meals--toss everything in the pot and cook until done. My co-workers taught me tricks to taking down a verbal phone message. I figured out that sometimes it's best not to be quick thinking. Eventually the lost words wander back into my mind. In the meantime, I have a wonderful book called The Synonym Finder. Sometimes I find the lost word in there.

If not I make it up.

That stroke was just one in a long line of disasters and catastrophes. I share those experiences with others in need--others who face life with shame--others who feel the sharp edges of failure. I believe that is one reason we have experience. Not to prevent others from their experiences, but to provide a safe haven to deal with whatever has happened to them. We should not squander what we have paid for so dearly. We should not be so selfish that we fail to share our past. In sharing the bad, we heal. I'm not sure how it works, I only know that for every horror in my life, sharing it with another survivor has added a measure of healing. Maybe that's how God works. He allows us to do part of the work ourselves. So don't hesitate to do your share.


Amarinda left us with....

Emmeline aimed her peeler at Gabrielle. “Is she important to you?”

“I love her but she won’t have sex with me,” Max responded in frustration.

“Ooh, she’s smart. We can use her.” PJ looked him up and down. “Take your clothes off.”

“Why?” Max backed away from the advancing women.

To which I responded...

“We have to see if the tail fits,” PJ said practically. “If it doesn’t, we’ll have to think of something. The council will never go through with the coronation unless he has a tail.”

Emmeline tapped her chin. “Maybe we were a mite too hasty then. I don’t see how we’re going to make that tail fit in a convincing manner. Besides, this guy has way too much hair. You know if we use him, we’re going to have to shave him or use some type of depilatory.” She shook her head as her quills clacked noisily. “It’s going to take some powerful stuff to get that hair off.”

Gabrielle snorted in disgust. “Use that blue stuff from the valley. That’ll take hair, feathers, fur, off of anything. Heck, it’ll probably take scales off a dragon.”

Max turned and ran down the hall, howling and screaming for the guards.

Emmeline rolled her eyes. “Now see what we have to deal with. Drag those two in that room. And somebody turn off that awful music. Unless one of you is a James Bond wannabe.”

“PJ,” Leo croaked.

“Yeah? What about PJ?”

“James Bond wannabe.” Leo groaned as his tail twisted and regenerated. “Damn, that hurts!” He stretched and suddenly the women were faced by an enormous very angry eagle with a huge beak and talons.

Emmeline pointed the peeler at the eagle and fired.

Nothing happened. The eagle advanced with vengeance in it’s golden eyes.

“Quick!” Sam growled. “Jump in the box!” He held it out for them to see.

Annoyed to find herself in the same-old, same-old position, Emmeline herded PJ and Gabrielle toward the box. “This isn’t the end you know. Next time I’ll bring Zoltan!”

Don't forget to check with Kelly at and Amarinda at for their worldly wisdom and unique viewpoints.


  1. Well,I am gobsmacked again. You know how I feel. I don't hug as you know but I will send a friendly cyber punch in the arm to both of you.

    And I just say thank you very much for leaving the serial on a cliff hanger because Kelly is bound to come up with something so twisted I will spend all day Friday trying to think of a response.

  2. Very wise, Anny. Now I know why they call you the Zen Queen!

  3. Ouch, AJ. Didn't your mom ever teach you not to hit your friends?

    Anny you are such a beautiful person. I think I understand more where your patience comes from and am thoroughly enamored with you for pressing through and succeeding. You rock.

  4. Anny, you do so much more than your share. I'm honored and humbled to be one of your surviors.