Phone Sex...

I've always wondered what the attraction was with phone sex. I confess that it never did much for me. Perhaps that was because I had a passel of kids running around before we ever really had a phone available...the first two years of our marriage we didn't have a phone because we couldn't *gasp* afford one. If we really needed to make a phone call we walked down to the payphone on the corner and fed it enough dimes to make our call. Somehow, I can't envision either of us wasting dimes on phone sex.

By the time we had a phone, we also had a couple of rugrats running around and for sure, the last thing on my mind was sex. The other problem was privacy. There wasn't any. Our apartment was so tiny our bed was in the dining room.

Then as we got older there was the problem of the extension phone. You could be talking in the bedroom while your twelve year old was listening in on the dining room phone. Fortunately, all the kids ever heard was the house hunk and I discussing which bill would be paid that week with the disappearing paycheck. Our usual method of decision was tossing the bills in the air and the last one to hit the floor got paid.

By the time the kids all left home...wait a minute. They still haven't left home. Ahhhh, that must be why we haven't tried phone sex lately. Tough to do when you have to talk in code. Besides, the hunk's retired now. He's in "his" office (the bedroom--where his computer is) and I'm in "my" office (the bedroom at the other end of the apartment). I guess now we would need walkie-talkies instead as we haven't jumped on the bandwagon where everyone in the family has a cell phone.

Of course, walkie-talkies broadcast everything you say. He would love that. He always puts the phone on "speaker" when he's talking anyway cause he's going deaf. That would certainly make things interesting, wouldn't it?

I have a feeling we'll never get around to phone sex until one of us is in a nursing home. And by then we'll be thinking "Sex? What is that?"

anny