When I was a kid...

My grandkids absolutely hate to hear about how things were when I was a kid. The minute they hear "When I was your age..." you see their eyes roll.

I suspect it's because they can't quite imagine me ever being a kid. It just doesn't compute--even though they've seen pictures of me when I was a girl.

When I was a kid, I fell on a galvanized metal bucket and cut my lower lip. I was three. That was nearly sixty years ago and I still have the scar. The accident delayed our camping vacation by several hours while the doctor patched me up.

When I was a kid, I turned over my little red wagon, dumping my baby brother out on the sidewalk. Nope, I didn't do it on purpose. In the way of all sidewalks everywhere, one section tilted because of a tree root underneath it. When my wagon hit that tilt, it naturally turned over. My baby brother was lying in the wagon on a bed pillow. Hmmm. Maybe I did permanent damage or...

When I was a kid, I opened the car door on Easter Sunday as we were driving down the road. My brother (same one as above!) rolled out of the car and down in a ditch. I still remember my father pulling over on the shoulder and running back down the road. The Easter egg hunt was delayed while he was checked out by the doctor.

When I was a kid, my older brother and I convinced my middle brother to eat the food in the dog bowl. He seemed to like it and as far as I can remember he didn't get sick. I have noooo idea why my mom felt compelled to us that willow switch on us. No idea at all.

When I was a kid, I went hunting for a gila monster with my boyfriend. He was nine and I was eight. That probably wouldn't have been toooo bad except we were supposed to be watching our younger brothers and sisters. Naturally, that didn't stop us--we simply dragged them along with us. And when our parents caught us, we ate our dinner standing up.

When I was a kid, that same boyfriend and I went hunting for firewood when our families went to a cookout. Instead, we found a snake...and brought it back to the picnic. Oh, man, the stupid things you do for love.

When I was a kid, I rode my bicycle off a cliff. It was a small cliff. We lived on a steep hill. I rode the bike down the hill to the "end" of our street. Ooooops! The brakes didn't work so I went sailing down, down, down about fourteen feet to the yard below. And though there were no broken bones...it hurt.

When I was a kid, I was watching my brothers while my parents made a quick trip to the store. My youngest brother had a seizure. Since he was prone to seizures, we had a bottle of medicine (a red colored syrup) in the medicine cabinet. I believe it might have been phenobarbital. Anyway, I couldn't get him to be still enough to give him a spoonful so I pried his mouth open and poured some in. And he didn't have another seizure for like...forty years.

When I was a kid, I caught a family of scorpions on my parents' bedroom wall, scooped them into an old mayonnaise jar and carted them off to school. I got into big trouble for bringing them to school--not because anyone was in danger from the scorpions. No, the school authorities were upset because I brought a glass jar to school. They were afraid it might break and someone could get a cut from the glass. Ah, for the old days...

anny