Tuesday, March 12, 2013

Zombie Debt Collectors

Every morning punctually at nine a.m. our telephone rings. After extensive experience, we screen all calls...because we know by now, the early call is a zombie debt collector. Not our debt--we're a cash-only household with no debt.

No, these collectors are looking for people who owe them from years ago. Some of the zombie debt collectors have been calling here over ten years now. Ninety-nine percent of the calls are robo-calls. I recognize all the phone numbers now--even when there's no identifier on the caller ID.

If I could talk to each one of them, here's what I would say:

1) You've had the wrong number for ten years.

2) No, I don't know George Smith, never knew him, don't know where he is, don't want to know where he is.

3) If I knew where he was, I wouldn't tell you because now I'm ticked off from you calling my number multiple times every day.

4) Stop calling here. Take my phone number off your list. GO AWAY! Let me sleep some morning past nine.

5) If you want real answers, use real bodies I can talk to and convey all of the above.

The zombies are here. They're just not where people are really looking for them...



  1. Same goes for robo-sales. You can't tell them to take you off the call list because they're not human. I have one that calls and says: "This is a warning about your current credit card account." Since I don't have a credit card, I'm pretty sure they're not talking to me.

    1. Oh, yeah. We get that one, too! Hello! No credit cards here!

  2. These zombies or robots don't care and never will. I hang up on them. That, they understand and I rarely get those calls anymore

    1. I don't answer the phone at all. They still call. Constantly.

  3. Oh, interesting. The same thing happens to my husband. Apparently the cell phone he was given by his employer was previously used by someone who racked up a lot of debt. My husband gets calls constantly and he's had the phone for over two years.

  4. Yep. We started getting calls within a week of receiving this phone number. And they've never stopped.