Thursday, July 3, 2014

The Fatness Dilemna

If I walked around naked, I would look exactly like this little goddess statue--luxurious curves abounding. Despite the fact that a large majority of the world's population is starting to look like me, our idea of beauty continues to be based on emaciated females and over-muscled males.

Because our ideas about beauty are skewed, clothing for the rest of us When's the last time (other than celebrity folks who can afford designer clothing) you saw an attractively dressed over-sized man or woman?

Aside from clothing issues, there are other things to consider. Our notions of intelligence, talent, competence, imagination, capability, wisdom are all based on size. When fat people demonstrate any of the above in a public way, people confess amazement and disbelief. A few are honest (or arrogant) enough to say exactly what they think, "That's amazing because he/she is fat! It's too bad he/she eats so much."

Hmph. First of all, not everyone who is obese (boy do I hate that word!) eats a lot. My daily caloric intake is between 1000-1200 calories.

Second of all, my IQ is not measured on a scale in my doctor's office. Sometimes I wish it was that easy!

Do I advocate obesity as a lifestyle? Of course not. I'm not stupid, just fat. But I submit that fatness is not a measure of who I am. When I'm moving around in my life, I don't 'feel' fat. I'm just me. Until I have to make some accommodation for my size (such as finding attractive clothing or climbing stairs), I don't spend my time thinking about being fat.

Actually, until I stand in front of a mirror, I don't think about it at all. And then, I'm not so much worried about my shape as I mourn the speed my age is catching up with me.

When I strive to 'lose' weight, that's because I would feel better. When I walk in the therapy pool or exercise, when I try to consciously spend my time on my feet and less on my butt, when I drink water and never have soda, all those are things I do to be healthier.

I've read all the articles about how obesity costs more money in healthcare and other national interests. There's no denying that. But I submit shaming and making fun of fat people isn't productive. If I were to say some of the things people have said to me to individuals who were disabled, a different color, a different ethnicity, a different religion, people would be appalled. Yet, evidently it's okay for people to say them to me because I'm fat.

I especially love when I see a new doctor and the first thing out of their mouth is, "You need to lose weight." Well, yeah, because I'm not smart enough to figure that out.

What would I tell you if I could?

1. Don't treat me like I'm stupid, deaf, blind.

2. Don't assume I do nothing but sit on the couch watching television. Actually, I'm not that interested in TV and my couch is incredibly uncomfortable.

3. Don't assume I eat all day. That's a big no-no for me. I have three meals a day (small ones) and one tiny piece of dark chocolate per day as a treat.

4. Don't assume I never exercise. I walk and go swimming. How about you?

5. Don't assume I was always fat. When I was nineteen, I weighed 97 lbs. Most of those skinny chicks on the beach will not remain that way because of hormones in our food supply.

6. Don't assume I'm jolly because I'm fat. I have moods like every other woman out there. Some days are good. Others aren't so hot.


  1. Yes, totally, because it never entered your mind that you'd like to lose weight. The problem with weight is that it tends to like to remain where it is. Which is why it's hard to lose weight and keep the weight off regardless of calories. And I know darn well you aren't eating more calories than a skinny person.
    You could lose weight quickly on a raw foods diet because you'd absorb practically no calories. LOL! And you'd probably feel like fainting all the time.

    So think about healthy eating and don't worry. As in whole foods as much as possible. And don't worry too much about fat. It's the sugar that'll get you.

    1. Exactly, Julia. Limit the sugar, balance the rest, enjoy life.

  2. Amen, sister! One of the things I've discovered l like most about the steampunk crowd is acceptance of size. I can actually walk through a steampunk convention and find skirts, corsets, and tops that fit and make me feel attractive. And be TOLD, "You look fabulous." Trust me, it's taken me a while to believe that, but sometimes, now, I actually do.

    1. Every person needs to feel attractive. When we do, our entire outlook changes. I love your steampunk clothing!