Wednesday, March 5, 2008

Subject Lines and other stuff

A few years ago I taught an adult education course called Computer Boot Camp. It was a course designed for the totally uninitiated computer user. And part of that course was basic computer etiquette. One of the things I covered was what we call netiquette--manners for the internet. Things like not typing in all CAPS because that's the equivalent of shouting. Or the reason we delete the four hundred addresses before forwarding that "cute" e-mail. Or better yet, why we shouldn't forward that e-mail in the first place. I covered other stuff like checking out the "urban legend" e-mails before mindlessly sending them on to friends... you know the ones about scary things that happen to women in dark parking lots or the pitiful ones that have a picture of a dying baby that only you can save by forwarding this e-mail to your hundred nearest and dearest friends.

One of the other things we discussed was the phenomenon of spammers. What you can do about them. How to get rid of them. Unfortunately, I suspect that they're here to stay. So I choose to be amused by them. I collect unusual names and subject lines. When I have enough, then I use them--maybe in a blog. Hey! What else am I supposed to do with them before I hit delete?

Here is my current selection of subject lines grouped by general interest:

Word 2007
Powerpoint 2007
Latest Autocad--best prices!
Why do these people think I need Autocad?

Become a super-man! It would take more than whatever they're offering to accomplish that.

Get University Degree in months
University Degree is not That Hard
Huh. And I can tell that the reason I can have one in months--and it's not That Hard--is because it's not worth anything! Otherwise you would know not to Capitalize At the end of the Sentence!

I have never ordered online. Is it safe? As opposed to what? Bungee jumping?

I wanted to release tension.
I wanted to improve my sexual skills.
I believe these sound like personal problems--personal problems that are really none of my business.

You will be absolutely amazed when you see your penis gradually become LARGER...
Just fancy how lucky you will be if your dic'k gets bigger!
Never mind how surprised I'll be... just imagine how surprised my house hunk will be. Talk about marriage secrets...

The person wore revealing clothes.
The person was "available".
And I need to know this because? If it bothers you, offer them a blanket or something. Or maybe just use the blanket depending on what their availability is...

We don't advertise. We advise.
100% money back guarantee
90% discount. Coupon #9don
73% discount. Coupon #5iu6
Is it just me? Or is there a pattern here? Sort of like a count down? Going, going, gone...

These are the new words for the anangram contest, right? Right? No?

Ah well, that's my collection for today as the spammers were prolific. Maybe they're all at home because of a snow storm or something. I wonder what they think about when they're sending out their moronic e-mails? Does somebody pay them to do it? Or do they just do it for fun? What do you think?


Don't forget to drop by Amarinda's Place to see what she's up never can tell. and then pop over to Kelly's Blog where she's giving away four leaf clovers at Blessings on your day!


  1. What is autocad by the way? I know what a cad is - is it like an automatic lothario?

    It took my 3 years to get my uni degreee...I must be dumb

    Yes, why do these online people think women have penises? Are we supposed to?

    Oh yeah, I have seen the odd email forwarded on that shouldn't have been...all the fabric in the word cannot cover your arse with those

  2. Yes I weekly receive the email about enlarging the organ I don't have. They are very perseverant.

    As for the chain e-mail I'm supposed to send to 10 people within the hour if I don't want my life to disintegrate, I send it back to the sender.

    University degrees in six monthes?Tell me about it.

  3. Most alarming to suddenly grow an enormous male organ, I agree. My husband would be dumbfounded. Me? I'd probably play with it. Maybe scratch it or wear tight pants to show it off. Perhaps I'd find a way to fling it around and see if I can understand WHY it is men think we will drop to our knees for a beating from it.

  4. I'm always amused by all of the singles in my area who want to meet me. The only way I'd be interested in meeting then is if they wanted to clean my house.

  5. While I love my brother he is the chief offender at sending me crap emails. Oddly enough these days I only open the ones without subject lines because he never remembers to put one in when he's actually typing me a note.

    I also keep getting ads for singles sites. Somehow I don't think that would go over well here.

  6. A friend of mine did respond to the penis add and said she was a 65 year old woman and had absolutely no use for one unless a male came with it:)