Sunday, October 5, 2008

I love you

"Faith, hope, and love. The greatest of these is love." St. Paul to the Corinthians

I deal with the subject of love everyday. It's my stock in trade. Without love, romance doesn't mean much. Gigolo's stock in trade is romance. They have it down pat... flowers, candlelight, great sex. But without love, it's all ashes in the mouth.

Love is one of the great mysteries in life. Why do we love one person and not another? Why does one speak to our heart when another would be more suitable or logical?

How does a parent's love work? All children are precious so why do our children touch us so much? Is it really all about genetics or biology? And if it is, then what about children/parents of adoption?

What about that friend we make that becomes the sister/brother of our heart? Where does that love come from? How marvelous that we have the capacity to love--to share our heart with another person.

Are we losing that capacity in the modern day rush for survival and success? Can we still reach out and touch the lives of others around us--not for gain, but for love?

"Love doesn't make the world go round. Love is what makes the ride worthwhile."~~Franklin P. Jones


  1. And sometimes we're in our pit, looking up the long, dark well from the bottom at the love which is so far overhead as to be useless.

  2. I don't think we'll ever lose the capacity to love even though HARD things are all around us.

  3. I've always been curious how some parents could love a child who truly is a monster. Do they really love him/her? In some cases, I've felt that love was an excuse the parent made to avoid facing a hard truth -- that their child is a blight on society.

    A friend of mine is dealing with just such a monster now. Her 4-year-old child was abused by a 12-year-old child. The abuser has done this before, in other places and to other children. The parents of the abuser are acting like it was all a big mistake, refusing to acknowledge the kid needs treatment. That will change when the state mandates he be taken away and put into a group home, as much for the safety of the neighborhood as anything.

    These parents keep saying that 'love will change him.' But at what price? And why do you think it can change him? I don't think love is a universal cure-all and I think it's dangeorus of them to think it will cure what ails that child.

    While the capacity to love is a gift, I also think it needs to be tempered with respect and common sense. Obsessive love can damage, and blind love can cause heartache. Do people sometimes confuse love with need? Is that what keeps them in abusive relationships? Like all positive things, there's a negative side to it that has to be acknowledged.

    And that's enough philosophy for today!

  4. I just don't think love is as complicated as we make it

  5. No, JL, love is not a cure, unfortunately. I once knew a child who burned down his house, killing all his siblings. And my heart went out to his parents who were stuck with him. I cannot imagine how you deal with that.

    When love is abused by someone, the heart shrivels in self protection. Never in any way would I blame that person.

    Those parents of that boy are hurting. They just don't know what to do. And when that kid is taken from them, they'll feel guilty because they are relieved.

  6. Makes you appreciate your own kids doesn't it.

  7. In my experience, sane-type parents are looking for the good in their child, and therefore can always find something to love. They also remember the helpless baby, cute toddler, etc., and that tempers the image of the monster if said child becomes one. Then, if a birth child, there might be characteristics and appearance reminiscent of a loved other relative too, to muddy things up.

  8. Re: Kelly Kirch comment.
    I have never found any love, other than dishonest love, to be useless. What a sad thought.

  9. That's what I get for trying blog philosophy with a migrain. Folks, it's a thought like any other. Just like I am who I am no matter what name I use.

    Are there THAT many people worried? Feel free to email me personally if you're concerned. I assure you that (other than completely baffled) I'm fine.