Sex--and all it entails--is one of the things in life that every person must learn about on their own. Parents can teach morality and the technical details, but when it gets down to the nitty gritty, each one of us learns the first hand details by personal experience. It is a profound, deeply individual lesson regardless of age or gender. Every single person remembers their "first time" and the circumstances whether it was the back seat of a car, the honeymoon suite, or tragically at the hands of a rapist.
Interestingly enough, very few people are comfortable actually talking about their personal experience, though they will freely talk about sex in general or the sex life of someone else. I believe that our personal individual experiences are the last taboo. We're too close to them, too uncomfortable with our own desires and needs to share them with anyone other than another partner. Heck, most of us can't even share our fantasies. They're simply too, too personal.
In that case, I find reading books with sexual encounters interesting in that frequently an author will use a similar scenario repeatedly. No, I'm not talking about sex by the numbers. But I am talking about the attitudes the characters have toward each other and how they feel about their own emotions and desires. I have noticed that for some authors there is a tendency for sex that is a little more untamed. For others, it is so drawn out, so leisurely that you wonder if the couple will ever get around to completion. I've read scenes where there are pages of description of what he does to her... but basically from what you read between the lines, she's so aroused as to be comatose...just stretched out for his delectation and enjoyment. For all the participation on her part, she could be a blow-up doll.
Because I'm a curious woman, I wonder how much of ourselves we put in our books. Again, I'm not talking about how kinky or weird positions, but how much of the emotional investment, the portrayal of those emotions has a personal corollary in the authors emotions. I suspect that our underlying desires are part and parcel of what we write. Whether we want tenderness, humor, or out of control wildness, I think a lot of it seeps into our writing. And never more so than when we are portraying the first time--the first encounter between the lovers.
As part of the celebrations for our new releases, Amarinda and I are launching The Amarinda and Anny Contest
What could be better than kicking back with a good book? Winning two books - one from Amarinda Jones – Knock Three Times and one from Anny Cook – Kama Sutra Lovers. Fantastic. You want more? Be the envy of all with two hand made hair piks to adorn your locks. But wait – there’s even more! How about munching on a delicious care pack of Aussie treats? One lucky reader will win all of this.
How do you win this fantastic prize? Go to www.annycook.com and
www.amarindajones.com and answer an easy question -
email@example.com with your answers – there will be 4 in all.The contest starts 18th July and closes midnight 23rd July 2008 (USA EST). The first correct entry drawn at random will win the prize. Good luck.