Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Kicking Ass

Have you noticed how every second hero or heroine knows karate or some other form or hand to hand combat? They're all bad asses from the army or navy or mercenaries or vampire hunters... and just so dangerous that the average joe or jane should break out in a sweat. Most of them are so busy being a bad ass that they don't lead a normal life. They all eat Chinese take-out and swill warm beer... Really.

Of course the logic that says that it's nearly impossible to stay in seriously dangerous shape if you actually eat and drink like that sort gets lost in the translation. I would never make fun of our military men and women. I have deep respect for them. So when I see some of the things that are written in their name, well I want to kick ass on their behalf.

If we truly had as many of these guys--and gals--populating our neighborhoods and towns as are presented in books, there would be no room for the run of the mill population. So what I'm longing for is some geeky, fumbling guy that defeats the bad guys with his brain. You know some guy that trips the bad guy with a broom handle or some ditzy woman who knocks the bad guy out with a frying pan. Real life scenarios.

Here's a challenge... give me a description of a hero/heroine you want to see. Write a blurb for me setting up the scenario. I'll choose one at random and write a short story. Get cracking!




  1. You know - you have that alredy with Maxwell Smart - the quintessential bumbling hero

  2. one word for you my friend---ERIC!

    Geek with glasses defeats the bad guy with a pratfall. Still my very favorite hero, though I've written some ex-military bad-asses too.

  3. And Cindy Spencer-Pape's geeks. Yum.

    Okay, here's one...

    Humphrey is a postal worker who delivers mail by foot. On his way around the neighborhood one day, he races past the house with the big dog to the front porch of our heroine, Matilda.

    Matilda is coming home from work with her shirt tails hanging out of her skirt, her horned rim glasses askew and every hair out of place. Her boss, the office womanizer who knows karate, is coming over to pick up papers from her any minute, in fact he pulls up as Humphrey hands her the mail. Boss man grabs Matilda's arm causing her to drop the mail and tells Humphrey to get lost...... (take it away Annycoo).

  4. Hero: Was an English major in college, a literary geek type. His desperate dream was to become a famous respected author with a National Book Award winning novel, and stories in all the best literary magazines, all capped off with a volume of elegant, evocative poetry that all the critics hail, never admitting that they don't understand a word of it. Sadly, he's not that great a writer and has ended up an editor at a small regional press, publishing critically-acclaimed books that no one actually reads. He still maintains his artsy/literary attitude and style, though, with too-long hair, John Lennon glasses, raggedy blue jeans, and Birkenstocks.

    Heroine: A total tomboy who hates skirts, *never* wears matching lingerie, and would rather spend time in the barn with her beloved horse than a man any day. Loves forumlaic genre novels, especially science fiction and sword & sorcery fantasy.

  5. When I was doing karate several times a week, I confess several of my heroines and maybe a couple heroes, did karate. At the time, it was uppermost in my life and a lot of my good friends were into it. Now that I've backed away from karate (actually taekwondo) because I have other things I have to do, too, I've not written a character that does taekwondo, since. But at the time, it was real life for me. :)

    Elissa's idea for a heroine sounds like my real life daughter.

    It's bedtime so my brain's too tired to think of a new character right now, but good luck.

  6. Mmm. Just seeing this.

    Middle school science teacher, secretly brilliant, discovers a cure for cancer but unfortunately the pharmaceutical companies have found out about his secret project. They have a vested interest in seeing the "discovery" doesn't see the light of day. They send hired killers to take care of him after school one day. His weapons are beakers filled with chemicals.

    Heroine is a buxom widow whose son is in his middle school science class. She arrives after school for a parent/teacher conference as the assassins attack. Her only weapon? A pair of stillettos, a stick of gum, and a tube of lip gloss.

  7. I like elissa's Hero & Heroine. I have no ideas. I read other people's ideas. I am not creative. I read creative people's stories.