Friendly Obsolescence

The longer you live, the more friends you acquire. Over my lifetime, I've collected quite a few. But...that doesn't mean you keep them.

With a few exceptions, friends rotate through our lives, appearing, sharing experiences, and then moving on to be replaced by new friends. Sometimes a change in friends is due to new jobs or locations. Other times, the change is due to differing interests or life circumstances. None of these things are bad. It just is.

Quite frankly, most of us barely keep up with our family members, let alone a passel of friends. I believe we really only have two or three 'close' friends at one time. All others are somewhere on that second level of friendship. You're interested in their wellbeing and the accomplishments of their family members, you enjoy hearing from them, but they are not the first person you would call/write to share important news or in an emergency.

One of the things that has changed with the advent of social media is the flood of personal information pouring into the public purview. There are many situations aired on Facebook and Twitter that would never have been shared in the past with anyone except a very close friend or family member.

On one level, I wonder what the evolving role of the friend might be. If we share every intimate detail with our wide world of friends, then doesn't that reduce our friend to cheerleader, supporting us from the sidelines? Could this be why we have fewer true best friends and more casual acquaintances?

I don't know. But when an old friend reaches out to make the connection, I find it sad when we're reduced to sharing our most current information--and then moving on. It's the way of life. It still hurts.

anny