Saturday, February 9, 2008

Plumbers are too sexy for the pipes...

BLAM! I was sitting in my chair, typing away, minding my own business when the door slammed downstairs hard enough to shake my chair. Well, we do have a couple of residents in this building who don't understand or care that it's not necessary to slam their doors. So with a shrug I went back to my typing.

BLAM! Okay... Perhaps the buggers forgot something. Glad that's over.

BLAM! BLAM! All right. Now I'm getting a tad annoyed. Maybe someone is moving out. Maybe someone's having an argument, but dagnabit, don't slam the door!

BLAM! BLAM! BLAM! Fine. Time to call my neighbor, Jane and find out what's going on downstairs. I'm sure she'll know the scoop. So I called Jane.

"Hi, Anny!" she hollered in my ear. She had to shout because it sounded like she was standing on a runway down at BMI. Directly under a jet engine.

"What's going on?" I bellowed. Why did I need to bellow? So she could hear of course.

"The plumbers are here! My sink's overflowing!"

Well now. BLAM! That explained things. Now Jane had baked a cake that afternoon and I happened to have a hankering for something sweet so I went down to "keep her company". Naturally, while I was there, I also had a piece of cake. Sweet tooth satisfied.

In the meantime, we sat at her dining room table and watched the plumbers at their work. BLAM! Whinnnnnnnne. BLAM! After a while I began to get seriously irritated so I casually mentioned that Jane's room mate was trying to sleep and that he'd only been home from the hospital a couple of days after undergoing heart surgery.

Furthermore, I added, I live upstairs. I was trying to write until y'all started slamming the doors! Things got quiet. The next maintenance man that went out the door shut it very quietly. One of the guys asked me what kind of books I wrote.

Jane hauled out the March issue of Romantic Times Book Reviews magazine and showed them the ad on the back page where my book cover was one of the featured books. Well now. Suddenly, it was an entirely different ball game. Jane--always my most loyal fan--dug around in her trinkets bowl and found several of my cards, which she then handed out.

So while the guys worked on Jane's plumbing woes, we talked about the books. The younger guy--aged 28--solemnly informed me that plumbing was a very sexual occupation. And he proceeded to reel off a string of plumbing terms to demonstrate. And I certainly have to agree that he was correct. He offered to give me a complete list in case I ever need to use them in my writing. Thoughtful of him, don't you think?

The fellas switched places under the sink and the older guy--a youngish 41--showed us pictures of his daughters and wife. Girls were cute. Wife was gorgeous. He wanted to know if I had consulted the Kama Sutra as part of my research. Jane and I began laughing as the name of the last book I contracted is Kama Sutra Lovers. I explained that the love scenes in the book were orchestrated by choosing a random card from a Kama Sutra deck of cards. He found that a very intriguing idea--so intriguing that he asked where I had purchased the deck of cards. Obviously, the gorgeous wife was in for a surprise.

The guys switched places again. The plumber's snake whined and groaned. And the sink was still stopped up. Seventy-five feet of plumber's snake hadn't been able to do the job. So after consulting the maintenance men, they all went outside to have a look see at the man hole where this particular pipe emptied out. After some more discussion, they came inside and announced that they would be back at 8 AM.

Jane and I looked at each other and then looked at the clock. Fifteen minutes to midnight. I said my goodnights and came back upstairs. In a few minutes the phone rang. After I left, the guys came back to inform her that the maintenance guys would be there at 7AM with a shop vac to suck up the water that they anticipated would be flooding her kitchen and counter tops when they worked on the pipes with a "bigger" machine. They informed her that everything had to be removed from the kitchen counters and floor.

And oh, yeah. Nobody in the entire building could use the showers or sinks until they finished repairs the next day. The maintenance guys went from door to door, waking people up to inform them that they had no water.

Well, I knew how tired she was and many hands make for faster work, although, two people in our tiny kitchens is pretty much the limit, if you know what I mean. So I went back downstairs and we moved "stuff" until the kitchen was empty. It didn't actually take too long. And when we finished both of us were tired, but satisfied that if was the best we could do.

Yesterday morning the guys showed up. Used the "bigger" machine to good effect. And we all have running water and sinks that drain swiftly. Go plumber guys! You rock!

And y'all also have good taste in reading material!


"My darling I could spend eternity holding you to my heart, protecting you with my sword, loving you with all my soul."

What could you spend an eternity doing? What is your passion? Your hunger? Your deepest desire? Each day beginning February 5 and running through February 14 one of the ten authors will complete the line, "My darling I could spend eternity…" on either their blog or website. Collect all ten answers and e-mail them to with Eternally Yours in the subject line to win some hot, romantic books. There will be three lucky Valentine winners.

The prizes –1st prize--5 books

2nd prize--3 books

3rd prize--2 books
Entries must be in by February 16 at midnight EST. All books and prize winners will be drawn randomly.

Sandra Cox Silverhills
Mona Risk To Love a Hero
Brynn Paulin Tribute For the Goddess
Bronwyn Green Mystic Circle
Cindy Spencer Pape Stone and Earth
N.J. Walters Seduction of Shamus O’Rourke
Elyssa Edwards Mating Stone
Amarinda Jones Shades of Gray
Kelly Kirch Time for Love

Anny Cook Honeysuckle

What a wonderful collection of books! Stop by Kelly's blog to see what she's up to this fine Saturday at and then pop over to Amarinda's Place for her take on life in Australia at Blessings on your day!

PS: New weekly scavenger hunt begins this morning. Check the contest box


  1. Bizarro world that it took so long to fix! But on the plus side - new fans. Good work

  2. Loved the blog, Anny. Funny and well written:)

  3. BLAM! excellent on drawing a new readership. BLAMMMM!

  4. Plumbing is a very sexual occupation...

    Okay, I just snorted really loud. I love it!

  5. Just goes to show...younever know when you're going to find readers! Two of mine are the wives of guys who work at the auto parts store:)

  6. Still giggling about plumbing being a very sexual occupation. Loved the post, Anny.

  7. Anny from where does your friend get her plumbers? Can you send them my way? Nice weather in FL. The shower of our renovated apartment has been leaking for two weeks and our plumber is "too busy" to come. Although I'm not much of a baker I'll prepare or buy some treat for a good plumber. One who's ready to fix your pipes and read your books is a precious man.

  8. Fortunately, I have absolutely no responsibility for acquiring a plumber or any other worker for our apartment.

    These guys were outside plumbers called in by the maintenance department of our apartment complex. They were pretty cool.