Sunday, February 10, 2008

Will the REAL man stand up?

You're my hero! As long as you're tall, dark and handsome. Geeks, laborers, and beta type guys need not apply. That's pretty much the way it is in Romancelandia. Oh yeah, you need to be rich. Really, really rich. I wonder why that is?

Most really handsome, really rich guys are self-absorbed, bossy, unfaithful jerks. So why do we demand that our romance heroes fit in that mold? Why are they our ideal?

Perhaps it's because the other kind of fellows are the ones we meet in our everyday lives... you know the ones I mean. They're the ones that don't function without a remote in their hands, have to be prompted to buy flowers or candy and haven't the vaguest notion of the correct answer to "Does this dress make me look fat?"

Sometimes we forget that while they might not be tall, dark and handsome, they have other qualities that count for more than good looks. They're in for the long haul. The steady-as-she-goes man gets up every morning and goes off to work, turns into a tiger when his spouse or children are threatened, and is blind to the cellulite, wrinkles, and gray hair that creep up on us with age.

While it's nice to ogle the man-candy most of us choose the tamer variety for life partners. We choose the guy who can fix the computer, an over-flowing toilet, or a broken window over the guy who pumps iron and looks pretty. I suspect that underneath, we want a Mr. Fix-it more than we want a Go-To Guy.

That's not to say that a little fantasy is harmful. The fellas have been looking for years. Since they're more visually oriented than the ladies, that's not unexpected. For hundreds of years little girls were brought up with the idea of Prince Charming. We've just changed his image in the modern era.

Until we're willing to give up the fairytale archtype I suspect that we'll continue to have "prince charming" heroes and "cinderella" heroines. We may think we've come a long way, baby, but not so. We're still living the "some day my prince will come" fantasies in our writing and reading. Perhaps one day a REAL man will be the star of the story.


Do you know who has the clue today? Only four more days left to collect all of the clues!

What could you spend an eternity doing? What is your passion? Your hunger? Your deepest desire? Each day beginning February 5 and running through February 14 one of the ten authors will complete the line, "My darling I could spend eternity…" on either their blog or website. Collect all ten answers and e-mail them to with Eternally Yours in the subject line to win some hot, romantic books. There will be three lucky Valentine winners.

The prizes –1st prize--5 books

2nd prize--3 books

3rd prize--2 books
Entries must be in by February 16 at midnight EST. All books and prize winners will be drawn randomly.

Sandra Cox Silverhills
Mona Risk To Love a Hero
Brynn Paulin Tribute For the Goddess
Bronwyn Green Mystic Circle
Cindy Spencer Pape Stone and Earth
N.J. Walters Seduction of Shamus O’Rourke
Elyssa Edwards Mating Stone
Amarinda Jones Shades of Gray
Kelly Kirch Time for Love
Anny Cook Honeysuckle

Amarinda's blogging about romance writers at and of course it's Sunday's Quote for Kelly at Blessings on your day!


  1. There is also the fact the not everyone needs a 'hero.' There are heaps of single, straight women out there who deal without a man in their life everyday. Sure, maybe life would be 'nice' with one but reality is you don't settle because society says you should. The 'prince' has to meet your terms no matter how bloody good he looks

  2. Anny you are absolutely right. We tend to look and read about personalities, handsome and rich people, more than about the poor woman who lives in a ghetto area. A few days ago I was putting together the background of my characters for a new book and brainstorming with my hubby. He said don't make her poor with problems. How about rich from a famous family? People like to read about Prince Charming and fairy tales princesses. I guess that is why so many of you write paranormals.

  3. I think that perfect alpha IS paranormal, Mona. I mean if he doesn't actually exist out there, all buff, intellegent, handy, and sexy, why not make him up??

    I hate stories where the man solves the problems, saves the day. It takes women back 50 years and I believe we need to stand up for our strengths, be our own heroine. I like my guy. He's short, light and cute. He's obnoxious sometimes and totally unromantic but he does the dishes and the laundry and he loves me so much it pains him when I'm upset. How can there be a guy out there better than that for me? There isn't.

  4. I think a lot of people just find it morfe interesting to read about a guy other than the one they live with every day. The fictional lives of other people... my guy is no more Prince Charming than I'm Cinderella.

  5. I've never really understood the appeal of the CEOs, the rich bastards or the shieks - I like reluctanct heroes or working guys...cops or professors or even knights. Maybe I'm just weird since I've never cared for cowboy heroes either, and they're huge.

  6. Amen.

    When I wrote Access Denied I was told that I would never get it published because the hero was a regular guy. He was average looking. Cute. But he wasn't big, buff and killer-handsome. My heroine even breaths a sigh of relief when she sees his picture for the first time that he isn't Mr. Gorgeous. I was told I'd have to "pretty him up" if I wanted to sell the story. Thankfully my editor didn't seem to think James needed any "enhancement".

    I love writing the guy you could meet on the bus, in the office, at a cafe. Regular guys are sexy.