Saturday, January 12, 2008

Magnetic Literature AND the Saga

I was standing in the kitchen waiting for my breakfast to cook in the microwave when I really noticed the refrigerator magnets covering my freezer, refrigerator, microwave... well, you get the idea I'm sure.

I have a few. Nearly all fifty states. I only buy the state magnet once I've visited the state. Some of the western ones are missing but I might get a chance to pass through a couple more before I kick the bucket. In the meantime, my grandchildren learn the shapes of the states I have from playing with them on the refrigerator.

I have fish. For some reason, the one time I was in Florida, I picked up seven different fish magnets in the local Wal-mart. I'm not sure why I like them, but there you are. They're chunky, fat fish that stick out so I have to put them in a spot where I won't accidentally knock them off. Pain in the ass fish.

There are, of course, the usual commercial magnets, the pizza place, the power company, the vet, the chinese food restaurant, two religious magnets, and the usual touristy souvenir magnets. And there are three or four magnets that used to live on my filing cabinet at work. They have stuff on them like "Murphy's laws" or encouraging poems like "Anyway".

I have a few that bring a smile to my face whenever I read them. One of them is from my old office. It's pale yellow with a tiny "FORM-A" printed in the upper left corner. It says in big bold letters "IF I WANT YOUR OPINION, I'LL ASK YOU TO FILL OUT THE NECESSARY FORMS." People seldom expressed their opinion in my office. No one wants to fill out forms.

One day I was feeling down. There was nothing seriously wrong, but I was just feeling blah. One of the women in my office went off to lunch and when she returned she plunked down a magnet on my desk. "Friends are the chocolate chips in the cookie of life!" It made me laugh. I kept it on the filing cabinet to remind me that life did indeed have a few chocolate chips.

My son went off to the Navy. On his first visit home after basic training, he handed me a magnet. Goodness knows where he found it. MOM~ NO MATTER WHERE I GO, OR WHO I'M WITH, I KNOW YOU'RE ALWAYS BEHIND ME, QUIETLY RIPPING YOUR HAIR OUT! Now you know why I'm bald.

After a particularly discouraging day at Weight Watchers, I was in the pharmacy poking around while I waited for my medications to be refilled. I found a magnet that I found most encouraging in the situation. It still helps out occasionally as it puts such a positive spin on being plus-sized. FAT PEOPLE ARE HARDER TO KIDNAP it declares cryptically. There's no explanation, but I find it a comfort that I'm less likely to be kidnapped than my skinnier sisters.

A dear friend sent me a magnet at Christmas time. It demonstrates the truth that we are indeed kindred spirits. It has a picture of a neat room. And printed on it, My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance. Perfect. Absolutely perfect. My friend Jane will testify that this is exactly how I keep house.

How about you? What kind of magnetic literature do you keep around?

Yesterday, Amarinda left us with Emmeline on her way to Peru...
“I’ll find you wherever you go, wife of mine,” Zoltan called out to her in a knowing tone.

Emmeline turned and smiled smugly. “You don’t have the ability to track me any more.”

“You haven’t!” Zoltan turned pale under his spray on tan.

“That’s right. I dug the tracking beacon out of the filling in my tooth.” She saw the alarm in his face. “I’m free of you forever.” She kissed the emerald transponder ring on her finger. “Take me to Peru,” she commanded. The chalice would be hers.

Since I couldn't think of any good reason why she shouldn't go...
People were screaming. Horns were honking. Emmeline opened her eyes and looked at her surroundings in dismay. She was standing in a park, surrounded by an astonished crowd of bystanders. Her quills clacked uneasily. “Where are the llamas?” she demanded of the closest human.

“Llamas?” He shook his head. “No llamas here.”

On the horizon all she could see were gently rolling hills. No majestic mountains. No steep, soaring peeks that pierced the clouds. All around her were the buildings of a small city. A police officer shoved his way through the crowd. “Here! What’s going on?”

“It’s an alien!” one of the men in the crowd declared.

“Harold, I keep tellin’ you there ain’t any such thing as an alien! That’s one of them movie people.” His skinny wife poked him in the ribs with her elbow. “Say hello, Harold. She might be famous.” She poked him again. “Hello, honey. Are you famous?”

“Maude, hush up,” the policeman commanded. “And the rest of you go home. There’s nothin’ to see here.”

Harold snorted. “What do you call that? Woman with quills pops in out o’ nowhere! I tell you she’s an alien.”

Emmeline frowned fiercely at the policeman. “You! Tell me where I am!”

“Don’t you know, lady? Did you hit your head or something? Maybe I should take you in… you might be using drugs.”

Impatiently, she stomped her foot. “Just tell me where I am!”

“Why…Indiana, ma’am. Peru, Indiana.”

And that's it for today!


Drop by Kelly's Blog and Amarinda's Place to see what their up to. I know one of them was talking about birthday cakes and the other might have to find a new place for her keys. Check them out at and Blessings on your day!


  1. I love fridge magnet philosophy. I have 150 on my fridge - no, really - I swear they are holding the old fridge up. My favourites are - "I used to jog but the ice kept falling out of my glass", "My favourite thing to make for dinner is reservations" and "Showing up is 85% of life." Good blog - and what can I say about Peru? 'Didn't see that coming

  2. If people had your addy you'd be inundated with new ones, you know :)

    Most of the magnets on my fridge are pictures or objects - like my Anasazi painting on a small square sandstone or my lizards.

    But I have one a friend gave me that always makes me smile:

    I save my husband lots of money - I never miss a sale!

  3. I have one of bluebonnets, a salsa recipe I've never made but was given to me, three funky abstract original art ones from someone is a mall in Minnesota, Children faces made magnets and the local adverts. That's it. I clearly need to up my magnet intake.

  4. My fav says "Thou Shalt Not Whine"...I'm constantly telling my kids this is a No-Whining Zone!

    Peru, Indiana? Been there! Never saw any llamas...Camels, yes! Or was that Kokomo?

  5. I used to have many magnets on my fridge. But when we move three months ago to the new apartment, all the appliances were in stainless steel. Apparently it's fashionable now. Guess what? No magnet can stick there. See the other side of progress...

  6. Love your magnet collection. And, as for the house, it always feels like home, just downright comfortable (the way a home should be). Besides, it's not your concern--that's what the househunk is for, among other things.