Well, here I sit waiting for inspiration to come bash me over the head. And nothing is happening. A writer with nothing to say is like a climber with no mountain or a doctor with no patients. You're pretty much useless.
At the moment, I'm sitting here with a million ideas churning around in my head, pummeling to escape and yet... I can't seem to capture even one of them at the moment. I think it's because I'm both too full and too empty after the holidays. There is so much ambivalence connected to the end of the year. There's a sadness to see the year end tempered with relief and joy--especially if the year has been a wild roller-coaster ride like mine.
And feelings about the new year are just as confused. There's hope for a new beginning and trepidation about what new hardship or disaster might strike. Uncertainty wars with faith in the future. Am I the only one unable to settle down?
These are murky thoughts in the cold middle of the night on this second day of 2008. What do I want from this new year?
Peace. Oh I know that global peace is what everyone professes to want. I would settle for peace between neighbors and family members. That would be good.
Health. That one isn't so easy. It will require some commitment from me and that's a word I don't toss around lightly. Ugh. Will this be the year that I commit to taking care of myself? Perhaps. I really don't want to wait until some terribly scary thing happens that involves needles and IVs and such.
The Story. I know that this is going to sound weird but I believe that every author has at least one story that is their destiny. Now I'm not talking about the infamous "story of their heart". I'm talking about a story that they are destined to write. It might even be a story that they don't want to write. But I would like to have the opportunity to work on The Story.
It's cold here and windy as it should be in January. Before we know it, it will be summer again. Perhaps that's the scariest thing of all--the speed with which the days zoom by. It seems that time passed slower when I was younger and now its gathering speed as I get older. Where did the time go?