Wednesday, January 23, 2008

No pictures AND the Saga

I am working with a group on an Internet project and the subject came up about the group posting our individual pictures on the project. Uh, no. I admit that part of it is because I truly shy away from pictures. For whatever reason, I'm one of those individuals that take terrible pictures. Pictures that elicit comments like "What was wrong with you? Were you sick?"

I'll never forget one picture taken back when I was in my twenties. I had a two month old baby. My youngest daughter looked at that picture not too long ago and said, "Mom you look like you're anorexic." Lovely. Most people worry about losing the baby fat. I look anorexic.

Two summers ago, I went to spend a week with my brothers/spouses. My youngest brother and sister-in-law took a million pictures. Ugh. Let's just say that there's no danger of any one mistaking me for an anorexic. I went there with clothes designed for comfort in 90+ degree heat. Needless to say, they were not the most flattering. Imagine the goddess figurine in a t-shirt and shorts. Go on, just close your eyes and visualize it. Now tell me that you want a glossy 8X10 of that.


Fortunately no one's worshiped me lately. But I live in daily fear that someone will mistake me for the goddess' sister or something. So just in case anyone was considering it? Uh, no. Just don't go there.

Yesterday Amaraninda left us with...
“Okay, here’s the thing, I’m not discussing my plans with someone carrying poultry.”

“The poultry carriers shall inherit the Earth.” His words sounded Zen-like.

“Whatever you reckon, you big fruit loop.” Emmeline rolled her eyes cynically.

“You will find you also carry an animal in your hand.”

“This is a hat box, mate.” As she said the words, Emmeline gasped in shock as she looked down to see a platypus gnawing at her hand. “What did you do to my chalice?”

What indeed? Where is the chalice?
“Nothing is as it seems,” the man intoned calmly. “You must seek the inner meaning if you would have peace.”

Emmeline stomped her foot. Her quills clacked ominously. “I don’t want peace!” she bellowed. “I want my chalice!”

As he shrugged and turned away, the duck peeked over his shoulder and quacked, “Aflack, Aflack!”

Disgusted with the whole scenario, Emmeline shifted the platypus in her arms and jerked out her peeler. She rolled her head, loosening the taut muscles in her neck. Then with the platypus securely tucked under her arm, she stomped to the door of Lenny’s cafĂ©. Somewhere, somehow, she would find Tortunga and she would get her chalice back!

Meanwhile, back in Rio, Zoltan relieved Pete of the peeler. After taking a close look at it, he began to roar with laughter. “You fool. This isn’t Emmeline’s peeler! This is a fake I keep around to use in my magic act. We will never find her with this.”

Pete blinked at him owlishly. “So what are we going to do?”

Zoltan whipped out his PDA and tapped in some numbers. “Ah, just as I thought! She’s looking for Tortunga in San Francisco Bay. Tchk! I could have sworn he sent us a Christmas card with a new address.” He tapped some more. “Yep, here it is. He’s moved to Peru.”

Pete stared at him in confusion. “We just came from Peru.”

“Nah, Tortunga’s in Peru, Nebraska.” He inhaled expansively. “Open spaces. Blue skies. We’ll go there and wait for Emmeline to show up. She’ll remember the Christmas card eventually.”

What will Kelly do with this mess? Tune in tomorrow to find out!


Drop by Amarinda's Place and see what she's been up to. I tell you, since she has no internet access at work, I've been missing that woman something terrible. Amarinda!!!!!! What's up, honey? And then hop over to Kelly's Blog to find out what she's been up to. I know she's been writing up a storm. Go. Seek. Blessings on your day!


  1. I had to draw this figure several times in high school art class. It's like looking in a for missing AJ - you need to aim

  2. No, no, no, Anny, don’t put yourself down. It's the sparkle in the eyes and the expression in the smile that count. I know you smile a lot. You make me smile so much. My mother who was an amazing fashion designer and seamstress until a few years ago always said that with the right clothes you can make a fashion model out anyone. So here to you, our next fashion model, a toast of vodka. My Russian hero drinks vodka only.

  3. Anny, I feel your pain about not being photogenic. I take the worst pictures!

  4. Well, I've seen a picture of all of you and you are quite lovely. Bron looked like she'd errupt in giggles any moment, Mona like she's so happy to see you, Anny like a beautiful hug, and AJ the goddess she is. Gorgeous, all of you.

  5. I only take a good picture every ten years or so...