Tuesday, May 6, 2008

Have I got a deal for you...

I swear that the spammer scammers are getting bolder and more inventive by the day. Did you see the new article about the anniversary of spam? Who keeps track of these things do you think? Is there an anniversary tracker program?

My spammers offer me winnings from lotteries that I never entered, cheap computer programs, cheap drugs, cheap knock-off watches, and ways to keep my d'ick up. So far, I haven't been offered any of the things I want--the capability to teleport anywhere in the world at will, the power of mind speech with anyone I want, or the body of a thirty-year-old while maintaining the experience and brains of a fifty-year-old. Notice I didn't say I wanted a beautiful body, but I would certainly like to have a healthy one. Sigh. No one's made me an offer I can't refuse.

It is May already. Does it seem to you that time is speeding by faster and faster? Do you think it's because we're getting older or wiser? I remember longing for the day I would be twenty-one. It was a ridiculous letdown when I reached it. Couldn't even have a celebratory traditional drink as I was twelve months pregnant with my second child. He was born eight days later. That was the last time I anticipated a birthday with such unrealistic expectations. After that... well after that, they were just ways of marking time as it passed.

Perhaps I'll look forward to my ninety-ninth birthday. That seems like a worthy birthday to anticipate. Maybe. Will I still be writing? Maybe I'll have a secretary to take dictation while I sit hunched over in my chair, watching the squirrels play outside my window. Do you suppose they'll still have books then? Or will dead tree books be a thing of the past, outlawed to protect the earth's resources?

What do you think?


Stop in at Kelly's Blog, Amarinda's Place, and OhGetAGrip where we're discussing predators of all sorts... Leave a comment. Blessings on your day.


  1. OMG...I don't even want to THINK about how fast it's flying. Thing that's a big deal for me is my baby will be heading off to college before I know it. Don't know if I'm ready for my life to change so drastically. What will DH and I have to talk about??? Nope. We'll be a silent couple looking at each other and saying...um, who the hell are YOU??? Scary.

    Blessings back, hon! Hope your feeling better soon.

  2. Oh crap...I don't want to live until I am 99. I can't imagine wanting to dye my hair for that long.

  3. You don't need a secretary. You need a computer program with voice recgonition and they're already available. Haven't worked up the nerve to install mine yet. There's just something about dictating my books out loud. Could you really do that?

    Ah so I'm not wasting my money collecting all my thousands of books. I'm investing in the future so I can then make you an offer you really won't be able to refuse...the last of the dead tree books.

  4. Time does fly and it seems like the older I get the more it picks up momentum. I can't imagine what life will be like if I make it to 99, but then I couldn't imagine what forty would be like twenty years ago...

  5. At 21 I tried my first martini. It sucked. I traded it in for a long island ice tea, which I didn't like and drank water instead. I was married less than a year and didn't know I was already pregnant for the first time.

    I'm so glad the kids don't wear diapers anymore. I'm so glad they communicate with humor and thought. I am so freakin glad that those days of minutia are over.

  6. I'm stoppin' by every day to get my kitty picture fix. Love 'em. Hope you're feeling better.

  7. I can't believe it's May and another school year over soon. It seems as if it's gone so very fast. And summer will zoom by even faster. Especially since I have so much to do. December is going to be here very soon. That I'm looking forward to.