Monday, May 12, 2008

Reflections on Mother's Day

Yesterday was Mother's Day. And for once all of my kids called home. And more amazing, most of the news was good news.

A friend once asked if I had heard from my children that week. When I said "no", she asked why I wasn't worried. Um, well that expression, no news is good news generally is true in my family. It's usually a blessing when I don't hear from them as that means things are going well and they don't need my assistance to bail them out of jail, financial trouble, or car trouble. See? That's the way it works.

Another friend asked me if I regretted having four children. My answer to that is "Which one would I send back? How would I choose?" Four kids, ten kids, one kid... once you have them, they're yours for life. The only way to change that is to die or hire an "Eraser" to make you disappear. Not even sure that would work as most kids are pretty resourceful when it comes to tracking down mom or dad.

I have a friend in Queensland, Australia. She declares that its the best place in the world to live. Some days I contemplate finding out for myself. Those are usually the same days I serious think about going to live in a cave.

Children are generally a blessing... except for the days that they aren't. You know those days-- days that they take a notion to do something that curls your hair before it makes it fall out. I had a lot of those days when mine were younger. It seems that the number of those kind of days increases exponentially for each additional child that you have. That's because the younger ones learn from the older ones. They don't repeat what the older ones did... no, they learn what not to do so they can do something entirely different. That way the parents are never ahead of the learning curve.

Over the years my kids have just about done it all, although none of them have killed anyone--so far. It was a near thing a couple weeks ago when my daughter called me and immediately declared (no Hello! How are you?) "I'm going to kill your granddaughter!" To which I queried, "Oh? How do you plan to do that without creating a mess?" By the time she worked out the gory details, she was mostly over it, though she thought she ought to make a note of it all, just in case. In the meantime, said granddaughter locked herself in her bathroom. Probably smart.

The most potent curse I know is "May you have two (six, ten) kids just like you were!"

I once received a call at work. Here's my end of the conversation:



"What kind of stain?"

"Did she drink any of it?"

"Well, mop it up with a rag."

"No, no problem. Now you have a couch."

"Uh-huh. I'll talk to you when I get home."

I put the phone back on the receiver and looked up to an office full of absolutely enthralled co-workers. After a minute one of them asked, "What kind of stain did they pour on the couch?"

"Furniture stain. Black Walnut."

"Oh. Well as long as no one drank it..."

Yep, that's my bunch. After the one that drank charcoal lighter fluid, a little stain on the couch is all good.


Don't forget to drop by the ladies blogs at Amarinda, Kelly, and OhGetAGrip where I'm holding forth on time management--or the lack of it.


  1. Children are generally a blessing... except for the days that they aren't.

    Doesn't that just say it all!!


  2. Hm, I suspect I'm an except for the days they arent' child.

  3. Yep Queensland is the best place on the planet - we have a saying about Queensland "beautiful one day and perfect the next" - it also applies to the inhabitants.

    As for children - I know nothing about them other than they start out short, grow and cost you $$

  4. Knowing all of your children, I must add that, despite all of the problems, you and househunk did an a great job along the way. And you still do.


  5. Ah yes...I too have called my mom and threatened a child's life. All 3 are still alive, although some days shipping them off to boarding school seems like a good idea!

  6. Children are generally a blessing... except for the days that they aren't.

    lol, that pretty much sums it up. :D

    My mom used to give me the curse. I was only blessed with one, but by my calculations he's twice as honery as I was, so I guess the result of the equation is still the same. :D

  7. My mom gave my brother that curse and he's got three of them. I was an easy kid, but stubborn as hell. Now I have two of those. sigh.

    My daughter called 911 to see if it worked. I was able to hang up, but then had to deal with 911 calling me over and over to see if everything was really okay and if my daughter could come to the phone to tell me so (she was 2.5 at the time and told them she was going to get in trouble cause mom was mad now. It didn't help my case.) Wound up telling them to send a squad car over if they needed to prove it for themselves. sheesh. Ain't due diligence great?

  8. There is a reason I live 600 miles from my family, bless their hearts. It's so I don't end up living in a cave or in jail for killing one of them. I've never loved them more than since I moved.

  9. Good blog, Anny. Sums mums up quite nicely. Love the mother day pic:)