Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Bug Wars:Day Five

By now, it is clear, even to my befuddled mind that I do NOT have food poisoning. I have a bug. This is no ordinary bug (see photo above), but a vicious, cunning, ravening beast.

Things that I've learned about the enemy: It laughs in the face of Imodium. Laughs. It does the happy dance when you feed it crackers and cheerios. It jeers at the usual sick fare of tea and flat soda.

But I am not easily defeated! No, I persevere in the face of the enemy. There are old secret weapons available--weapons almost forgotten by man and woman.

Pepto-Bismol. Say it with me. Pepto-Bismol. The pink liquid that coats and soothes the troubled belly.

Sleep. Real honest to God, sawing logs sleep. Hours of sleep snuggled in the warm covers on dismal gray rainy, snowy days. Sleep until you can sleep no more. Guilt-free sleep.

Herbal tea. Choose your own. My belly prefers Sleepy-Time, a chamomile based tea with honey. Pair it up with toasted English muffins with just a tad of honey. That has possibilities.

Things that I've learned from being sick:

My bathroom needs to be redecorated. It's no place to spend hours on end when you're sick. Oh, I gradually added a few things to make it my homier-away-from-home refuge, but ech... it needs a painting or two and some flowers. I took care of the other things by now. You know--the pile of books, the reading glasses, the butt wipes, the antiseptic wipes, and the six extra rolls of toilet paper.

And I tossed in the sweater (because it's cold in the middle of the night) and the spare pair of socks (in case I inadvertently end up in there barefoot--remember it's cold.) I considered adding a small boom box so that I could enjoy Christmas music while occupied, but decided against it because my head hurts most of the time.

Some day in the distant future, I will no doubt feel better. My gut will quit roiling and my dinner will stay where it's supposed to. I'll regain the fifteen pounds I've lost as soon as liquids start to recirculate in my body.

Some day, this will be a dim memory that I'll talk about with my friend, Jane, endlessly repeating, "Do you remember...?"



  1. Oh, this is awful. Stay warm and feel better soon!

  2. Very awful. Fever? if you don't start doing better you need to go to the doc. Watch out for dehydration.

  3. As you know I have this too and I've also been considering bathroom re-decorating. Just a touch here and there to make it homey, you know? This stuff is AWFUL. I have a bottle of Pepto and I'm going to take some because the other stuff doesn't seem to be working. At this point, I just want my life back.

  4. I agree with Kelly. This might be dysentery (had it, don't want it again). If it is, you need drugs.

    Have you tried adding Acidophilus? It's a bacteria you take in pill form that helps the bacteria in your gut reform (available at the pharmacy). I take it whenever I take antibiotics, since my GI tract is delicate (to say the least).

    I know what you mean about the bathroom. The last time I worshiped the Porcelain God, I thought, 'man, I need to get in there and paint that vanity cabinet.' The things you see while lying on the floor ....

  5. JL makes an excellent point about Acidophilus - the stuff is amazing. Maybe you can talk the HH into getting some for you.

    Feel better soon, Anny. {{{HUGS}}}

  6. Sorry to hear about your illness. Had a very bad time several years ago. Couldn't eat right for weeks.

    Here's a Chinese remedy for nourishment and re-hydration:
    Boil a tiny handful of rice in a huge pot of water for a few hours until the rice disintegrates. Drink the broth. I don't know why but it works.

    Afton Locke
    Unlock your darkest fantasies…

  7. Sure hope that someday is real soon for you.

  8. Seems never-ending, huh? Ah, yes, I remember it well!