Tuesday, August 7, 2007

Stopping to smell the grass, the flowers,...

I take my dog out several times a day for a walk. As most people know, that's a euphemism for a potty break. But it can also include a brisk walk for exercise or a slow ambling walk for investigatory sniffing. These days, we mostly do the ambling walk as she takes time to smell the grass, the bushes, the flowers, the fire hydrant, the ... well, you name it, she sniffs. Seems like she's trying to get in all her sniffing time in the short time she has left.

I entertain myself on these slow ambling walks by imagining her internal conversation. It must go something like this:

Sniff the grass. Hah! I see Teddy talked his human into bringing him around to the front of the building. Probably walked his little legs off going up that hill...

Sniff the bush. Hi, Hilda! You ever hatch those babies? When is Harold gonna build you a bigger nest?

Sniff the poop in the grass. Ewww! That is ripe. Those bad boys upstairs ought to teach their humans to pick up after them. Gross!

Wander across the parking lot, pausing to sniff the blacktop. Heh! Someone spilled their coke. Nasty stuff. Look at all the ants.

Wander around the garbage enclosure. Boy does that stink! Good thing it's pick-up day tomorrow. I wonder why humans have so much trash?

Suddenly gallop across the grass after a squirrel. Fresh meat! Pause at foot of tree and bark at squirrel that got away. Listen! If you didn't want me to chase you, why did you run? Stupid squirrel.

Sidle along the road and then meander across the road to the next bit of lawn. Sniff the pine cones and a stick. Nasty stuff. That sticky stuff gets stuck on your teeth. What good is a silly pine cone anyway? Can't eat it. Can't chew it.

Meander along the road until we reach the cable box. What kind of weirdos pee on a buzzing box? Oh, that's right. Sledge. Yep, he's a strange one all right. And he thought I was gonna let him get friendly when he can't even find a tree to pee on? Riiiiight!

A gentle tug on the leash reminds her that it's time to head on back. Geez, it's always the same. We never go anywhere new. Maybe I can drag her off the other direction next time...

Hmmm. Maybe we will go the other direction. Imagine what new things she can find to smell that way. Who knows what she might discover?


If you haven't stopped at Amarinda's blog today, check out what she's given me to work with at http://www.amarindajones.blogspot.com/ and then tomorrow check back here for my response! If you're really behind stop at Kelly's blog at http://www.kkirch.blogspot.com/ or my website http://www.annycook.com/ where the first twelve episodes are posted on the bookshelf!


  1. I love the bit..."we never go anywhere new..." I can hear a dog saying that but being pissed off that it can't express it. I believe everything human or not has feelings and emotions - we're just lucky we are the dominant species and can articulate what we need and want loudly.

  2. Next time can we go into the tree's head and see the panic when your dog waddles over to it? "No! Not here. Don't do it here----CRAP! I hate my job. I get pissed on all day long and for what?!?"

    Hee hee.

  3. Very funny, Anny. Except for my dog, the trash bins are a delight! Everything smells and tastes better after at least three days to cure. :-)

  4. Ours are pretty stinky. Think it's the disposable diapers. But she sure does love to sniff. Day, night, whenever.