Baggage

baggage~~ what someone with kids, debt or other problems brings to a relationship. 

Families. Sometimes you wonder about the general overall plan, don't you? My mom was memorialized on Friday. A surprising number of the family were able to attend, even though everyone lives sprawled across the country. 

Since I wasn't able to attend, naturally I received several reports about the family gathering. Not one report agreed with the next. With a lot of experience behind me from attending years of family get-togethers, I had zero expections that they would. One of my siblings expressed concern about that and this is what I said.

Point of view. How we experience an event depends so much on our past and the mounds of baggage we insist on dragging around with us. 

For some reason, likely because we base our ideas on the undependable media, we choose to believe a family unit is perfect. Sacred. Inviolate. The reality is far removed from that ideal. Some families are fortunate enough to strike close to that ideal, but the vast majority are all at the other end of the span. 

Past traumas, personality clashes, different lives and even wide age differences can affect how we view our family members. I know several siblings that absolutely can't stand each other. Such is life. If another family member is toxic, then I'm all for moving on. I can only control or deal with my own baggage--not everyone else's.

Here's the deal. In those rare times when we all join together to celebrate or mourn, are we mature enough to be civil? 

If not, then at least be mature enough to stay away. And take a moment to remember your baggage is your own. And it always affects your point of view.