Profiling

After my mammogram (have you scheduled yours this year???) the hunk and I shopped at various places before going home. While he ran in at Home Depot, I waited in the car, keeping our frozen food cool. There were a lot of folks shopping at the Home Depot so I entertained myself by trying to guess what they were buying.

Folks of all shapes and sizes came and went. But when a skinny young Asian man strolled by, it occurred to me how guilty I am of my own version of profiling. If I were doing a commercial for Home Depot or Lowes, for instance, I wouldn't have thought to feature an Asian individual. Rather, I would have chosen a beefy, brawny laborer. The Asian gentleman would star in a technology commercial (phones, computers, or medical technology).

Then I considered why that would be so. I am guilty of categorizing people by ethnicity and color. It is an ugly admission BECAUSE until yesterday, I wasn't even aware I was doing it. Worse, it's based on false premises from the very beginning. Why shouldn't the beefy guy be the computer specialist--and the Asian fellow be a craftsman?

I wonder...

The hero in my current work in progress is of Japanese/Apache background for no particular reason except I sought a more interesting character than the the usual white-anglo-saxon-protestant. Then having chosen an interesting background for my hero, I instantly pigeon-holed him in the appropriate ethnic behavior I envisioned for such a man. Why? I'm ashamed to admit it was sheer laziness. A short-cut to character development.

For a while, I've grappled with this story, wondering why I couldn't seem to come to grips with my hero AND my heroine (which I ALSO pigeon-holed).

In my daily life, I've met thousands of people in all walks of life, of all ethnicities and colors and occupations. And apparently, I have learned nothing, blindly accepting my own assumptions about who and what my fellow men and women were.

It's not enough to pick an individual who stands out and acknowledge their value regardless of their color, if we then profile the rest of their fellows. Why do we categorize folks? Until yesterday, if you had asked me my personal opinions on profiling, I would have vociferously denied doing so. And yet... there was that jarring realization that I was wrong.

anny

Lessons from the Doc

About a month ago my son came to visit. I don't normally watch television in the evenings, but while he was here we fell into the habit of watching the news on PBS and then whatever we found to watch after that. During that week we discovered a British show, Doc Martin.

I admit it's very quirkiness fascinated me...and I was hooked. Now my Thursday evenings are taken up with Doc Martin and the show that follows it, Death in Paradise.

Doc Martin is a brilliant surgeon, but hopelessly, socially inept. At the height of his career in London he develops hemophobia (a blood phobia) which negatively impacts his career. So...he takes a General Practitioner position in a tiny, sleepy sea-side town.

The town is filled with quirky, charming characters who have no notion how to deal with Doc's abrupt, total absence of bedside manner. He never smiles, never lies, and never lets the patient down gently.

The romantic interest, a school teacher in the village seems to be the only one who sees past his stony face. Against all odds, they have a very brief affair and decide to marry. Then, thinking better of that idea, they agree they won't suit.

Louisa goes away, only to reappear a few months later, obviously pregnant. Eventually, she has the baby.

Here's where I learned about character consistency. When Louisa came home, most series/stories/romances would have immediately married them off (because that's what you do--right?) Well, not so fast.

Louisa is an independent woman, determined not to take the easy way out. For several episodes, she and Martin work at cross-purposes. Martin decides his hemophobia is under control and he will go back to surgery in London. Louisa plans to stay in the village and raise her baby.

And then...she's in an accident and has the baby early. Martin is shocked into really looking at his life. He sees how fragile her life is.

It could have been a very unsatisfying, mushy childbirth scene. But no...the writers stayed true to character. No mush. Faced with the reality of childbirth, Martin rushes away to be sick in the bushes.

When Louisa asks if he wants to hold the baby, he immediately says no, fearing he might hurt the baby. Rather than accept his rejection, Louisa points out, he can learn. He rather gingerly takes the baby, holding him for a few seconds before returning him to Louisa. She pats the baby and says, "You'll get used to him."

I salute the writers and actors because they stay true when it would be so much easier to make especially Martin more likeable if they softened him up a bit. But no...they allow his care (abrupt though it might be) for his villagers to show he indeed does have a heart.

anny

Character

I would rather be adorned by beauty of character than jewels. Jewels are the gift of fortune, while character comes from within.~~Titus Maccius Plautus

Every day when I open my internet browser I'm greeted by a new scandal. It may be political or in the entertainment world or even is the religious world. Today's scandal details the affair the Barbara Walters had with a married politician. How does one begin an affair with a married man without understanding that it is wrong? I believe she said that he was brilliant and exciting. I really don't want to know any more of the story. What purpose is there in revealing her adultery now? Her credibility with me just dropped to zero.

I sometimes wonder if character is in danger of disappearing altogether. People think nothing of lying or stealing or massacring someone's reputation. There are so few examples for our children to look up to that it isn't any wonder they respect no one. When a child hears his parents discussing ways to cheat on their taxes or how they didn't have to pay for something because the cashier didn't ring it up, then what do we expect?

Character is also the strength to deal with adversity. Yesterday I was discussing this issue with a young man. He ask me why I thought there were so many divorces. I told him I think it's because at least one individual in the marriage didn't say those vows "until death do us part"--they said "until something better comes along". At the first sign of difficulties, they bailed out because that's so much easier than staying and toughing it out.

Someone once said that character is a measure of how a person behaves when you give them power. Have you ever watched the way a person changes when they're given a managerial position? Not all, but many become petty tyrants, drunk on the power they have over their erstwhile co-workers. Too few have the character to manage while keeping a level head on their shoulders.

The economy is falling on hard times and I suspect that we as a nation will see exactly what we've wrought. We haven't been building character. We've been building dependency. And the time is coming when we won't be able to pay the bill. Then we'll find out which of our neighbors have character and backbone and which will fall by the wayside.

Are you ready?


Anny

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