Kissing Bits

In 2006 I ventured out into the world of publishing, never expecting anything I wrote to actually make it past the submission process. I was a bit shocked when I was offered a contract--excited, yes, but not really ready to believe my good fortune. Then, I settled in to see if I could replicate my first attempt.

Imagine my surprise when that's exactly what happened. I couldn't contain my excitement as I was offered contracts for a second and then a third book.

There was one small fly in the ointment.

Some folks were...takeaback at the 'kissing bits'. I've had some time to consider this since then. And I've decided this might be a reflection on personal views of the action in the bedroom. I know individuals who cannot mention their own body parts without lowering their voice as though they're speaking about something unmentionable. Now, that must make it difficult to share information with their partner or doctor.

An acquaintance of mine suggested this was natural modesty. I'm not so sure. I believe it's partly embarrassment--an uncomfortable acknowledgement that we ALL have sexual thoughts and feelings. And it's the stark reality that most women have participated in sex at sometime during their lives. Because HELLO...it's pretty difficult to get pregnant, otherwise. Not impossible. But the alternatives certainly take planning and effort.

There's touchy denial going on there, a sly secret knowledge that pretends the truth is hidden in a deep, dark closet. In reality, sex, along with eating and sleeping is one of the activities almost all adult humans share. Pretending we don't is akin to denying we have hunger or a need to rest.

Now I don't advocate public sex. I don't even advocate public discussion about what we personally do--or don't--in the bedroom. But I do think no man, or woman, should be embarrassed by the language in your average erotic romance. If those words, those names for body parts make the reader squirm that much...doesn't that say more about our strangeness, than the writers?

The first time I ever read the word 'breasts', at around age eight, it was in the Bible. Song of Solomon. The author clearly revels in the physical attributes of his lover. He admires and loves her. I have noticed that book is entirely skipped over in church services. Why is that? I was taught that EVERY part of the Bible is equally important. I suspect this goes back to those secret, hushed whispers in the living rooms across the land.

We are the only ones who can shine a light on the secrets in the closet. No wonder our kids have no way to speak to us, no way to frame their questions. After all, our actions speak so loudly they drown out our words. Sex is bad. Dirty. Secret.

anny    

Story of Love

Last night I had my monthly chat. We discussed what readers might have on their wishlist for 2012. Are they tired of the paranormal? Do they want less kinky? Do they want fewer participants and longer stories?

It's impossible to gauge reader desires. For one thing, the most vocal are not necessarily the ones plunking down their hard-earned money for books (whatever form they take!) One group will clamor for less sex, more romance, and a standard male/female relationship. But when royalty time rolls around the books that meet that criteria have abysmal sales.

So what do readers want?

Personally, I think the time has finally arrived for a hybrid. No, not a new genre. Erotic romance has always been a wicked step-sister to all the other romances. And it was an either/or situation. Either it was an erotic romance. Or it wasn't. Erotic romances moved closer and closer to erotica. Standard romances inched closer to the erotic. I propose a romance that edges back from the most explicit of the erotic romances with fewer sex scenes, more plot and stronger characters. Genre would not be the defining point for the book. Instead, romance and emotional bonds would set the standard.

Would anyone buy it? I have no idea. Readers say they want just such a book. In my experience, though, they aren't eager to put their money behind their request.

So what do you think? What do you want in your romances in 2012? Less sex? More romance? Or do you want something we haven't even thought of?

anny

Sex... or Romance?

What's the difference, you say? For the lucky few, there is no difference. But for most of the coulples out there, sex might make the world go round, but romance doesn't. Sex is inserting tab A into slot B for the purpose of cementing a relationship. It might be that children are the desired end product. Or a merging of family fortunes. Or the stability of merging two families. Or even still in this day and age it might be the final steps in a political marriage. Ultimately, whatever feelings are involved, they are not the primary focus. That focus is still on the technical aspects of making sure that tab A does indeed fit into slot B.

It seems to me that we in the erotic romance line are slithering periously close to having more "sex" in our stories than "romance". Actually, this is true of most romance lines. In the last two or three weeks, I've probably read twenty self-proclaimed romances. The genres had stretched from vampire to shifter to woman-in-jeopardy to high fantasy. Historical periods have ranged from futuristic to medieval and everything in between.

In a disheartening number of them, the stories centered around a series of sexual gymnastic encounters, some of them frankly improbable, that had absolutely nothing to do with the stories. Um, I suppose that a case could be made that my own stories fit this category so in the sake of fairness I'll be the first to toss my own into the pot.

The other disturbing trend is the mechanical list of actions that read like someone reporting on a porno film. "And then he did..." "She reached up and ..." "He kissed and licked..." Yeah? So what? Where's the feeling? I want the whole package.

Conversation--even if he is braindead because all the blood in is brain has traveled south. He can grunt and groan and mutter "Yeah, baby." I read numerous scenes that were curiously silent. Now I remember raising children and the necessity of being quiet sometimes, but that was not the case in any of these stories. So what are these people doing--sign language maybe?

Scents--an integral component to sex. There a potpourri of scents associated with sex. His scent. Hers. Body lotions. Candles. Depending on locations, there might be the scent of flowers or grass or trees or a fire in the fireplace.

Settings--where are they? I hesitate to bring this up, but... many of the more interesting gymnastics are nearly impossible in a standard bed. It's too soft. I hate to point out that much of the, uh, leaping about would lead to someone--maybe more than one ending up on the floor. And that's neither sexy nor romantic. So maybe they're on the floor (rugburn) or a blanket on the lawn (ants and mosquitos) or the floor of a steamy shower (BIG hotwater tank, right?)

Lighting--are they in the dark? I swear that I read a scene this last week where the couple were in the dark (didn't dare turn on the light for some strange reason) but he could SEE her pink pearly parts! In the dark! Ah, the tricky x-ray vision. If the lights are on, how much light is there? Are they in the sun, the shade, next to a fire in the great outdoors. Is the moon full?

Then there is the tall-to-short ratio. He's really tall (aren't all men six foot four?) and she's really petite (oh somewhere around five foot one) and yet, according to the author, they fit together perfectly--so perfectly that they can perform hanky panky standing up...with all four feet on the ground. Huh. That I would like to see. Just for research purposes.

Getting naked is one of the most interesting parts--or not. It can be incredibly erotic or another list of instructions. "He took off his shirt, shucked his pants and stood naked before her." When did he take off those cowboy boots he was wearing? That scene bothered me so much that I went back and searched four pages. Nope. He never removed his cowboy boots. Or his hat. And you guys think I'm kinky. I'm pretty sure the house hunk usually takes off his shoes.

Finally, while I prefer a tad more than a wham, bam, thank you ma'am (unless they're hiding from the bad guys in a closet and trying to be really, really fast and quiet), I also don't want a love scene so long that I fall asleep in the middle of it 'cause there's only so much you can do, so many ways before you start repeating yourself... and (yawn) you just lost me four pages back. In one book I just skipped the "good" parts and read the rest of the story and the author should have too because it didn't have a thing to do with her pretty interesting story.

So what's the difference between a romance and an erotic romance? In my mind the sex in the erotic romance is an integral part of the story. If there isn't an important reason for the sex, then what is it doing in the story? And if it's an integral part of the story, then it deserves the same time and care and craft that the rest of the story receives. And that's why some books are strings of sexual encounters and some books are romances.

I like writing romances.

Anny

Well, the February Scavenger Hunt is over on my webpage. Later today I'll post the final winner. I want to thank everyone who participated. I hope all of you enjoyed the books you won.

Drop by Amarinda's Place at www.amarindajones.blogspot.com and Kelly's Blog at www.kkirch.blogspot.com for some of the good stuff. Blessings on your day.